The colors of "passage" ...

"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation and hard work, learning from failure.” - Colin Powell

I am happy to report that I have passed my oral comprehensive exams. These happened at Eastman last week - I had a committee of four ‘doctors.' For the most part, it was a conversation about music. It encompassed score-identification (Scriabin solo piece), theoretical discussions, historical backgrounds, and pedagogical possibilities. 

While it was a rite of passage, it also felt like the beginning of a good-bye. This brought about, surprisingly, mixed emotions. The let-down, or the relief, after several months of intense preparation, was also very real. 

Two days after, I left Rochester, for my second journey back Stevens Point, Wisconsin. I'm here now for the final rehearsals and performances of "American Opera Triptych." 

This photo brings so many aspects together of what artists need, to prepare a performance, exam or opera. Everything needs different shapes, dimensions, sizes, and colors - just like the departments of an opera (direction, music, set, costumes, lights) or the facets of a complete artist (technique, sound, vision, communication, teaching, writing). The photo is from my bridal bouquet.

This calls for celebration ...

Since my last post, I have received positive news that I can share …

I passed my written comprehensive doctoral exam! 

This exam was such a monster, and I am so happy to have this portion behind me. My next portion is on March 25th, the Oral Exam. My father says, “you have the gift of gab, so you will be fine!” 

The next weeks will be spent preparing for things I might have to argue or talk about - piano, language, conducting, poetry, song, opera, chamber music. I can live happily if I get to put more studying into these matters.

I saw Charity, my maid-of-honor, on Friday, for a celebratory glass of wine on my way home teaching in Ithaca. And today, my newest batch of Nespresso pods arrived. 

(Heaven in a small cup).

Things are looking up.

Patience

Said, woman, take it slow

And things will be just fine

You and I'll just use a little patience. 

(Guns-N-Roses)

I waited patiently for The Lord; 

        he turned to me and heard my cry. 

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 

        out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

        and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, 

        a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

        and put their trust in The Lord. 

(Psalm 40: 1-3, NIV)

About a week ago, I was feeling the weight of the world in a very serious way. I realized the I was over my threshold of two major things and was enduring daily requirements along with three major pressures:

1. My husband's and my application for his green card, adjustment-of-status, and persevering through endless red tape. The process is tiresome, thankless, and very expensive.

2. I have been networking, applying, and researching about job opportunities, post-doctorate. The jobs have come in all shapes, sizes, salaries, and locations.

3. I'm still waiting on my comprehensive exam results. 

Yesterday, something happened that allowed me to have a *little* more patience. One of the jobs came back with a "nibble" and said that I've been advanced to the semi-finals. There is still much more work to do, but Zheng and I are relieved at this bit of good news. 

Our friend Bob, who was also the "great man" at our wedding, says that he teaches patience. He reminds us that he does not "practice" it. 

I totally understand. 

The end of a "break," and a second Whole-30

After the comps, I deliberately took 2 weeks off of blogging. 

They were everything that you'd expect this exam to be at a place like Eastman. Immensely comprehensive, detail-oriented, wide-ranging. Did I mention that it was two consecutive days of 8 hours-per-day typing in the computer lab? 

(We are still waiting to hear the results).

January, as I've discussed on this blog, was a 30-day time of "no sugar, no sweets, Whole-30." It was one of the best things I could have done. Sweet "no-nos" no longer are as appealing, and when I do indulge, it is one of great moderation and reward. On Valentines' Day, Zheng and I had a little bit of port and one square each of Ghiradelli Sea Salt chocolate. Great indulgence, and it was different than eating an entire piece of cake. Equal praise can be bestowed upon an outing in Philadelphia with a dear friend, to "Tria" wine bar. Treats with gorgonzola and brie, paired with two glasses of Spanish wine, was delightful. I'm still savoring it.

February, I've decided, is another month of "no." What hits the chopping block this month?

Facebook.

I'm on Day "3" of the fast, and my husband has already noticed a difference in my personality. I'm less distracted, and I'm also less prone to travel the "Oh-my-goodness-x-person-just-got-a-job-and-I-want-a-real-job-..." path. Ignorance is bliss. I know plenty of people that live without the Facebook culture, and they are some of the happiest people I know. I have kept on my phone the "Messenger" app, which has never caused angst. (It's just like another email address). And I won't delete the account because I've stored photo albums from travel over the past few years that are really work keeping up. 

Other than that, birthdays download to my calendar, so I won't miss them. The ones for which "real" cards must be sent will still happen. Small electronic messages not getting sent anymore - that's alright with me. 

(I might check again on my birthday, however. That's not for another four months).  

PHOTOS: are from our Valentines' celebration. We would like to wish everyone a great (if not late) Chinese New Year and Valentines' Day!

In search of egg-cellence

Welcome to tech week, and to several countdowns:

3.5 days until opening night

5.5 days until the end of my Whole-30

6.5 days until Comps, Day 1

7.5 days until Comps, Day 2

8 days and 2 hours until Comps are over.

The show is going well. Yesterday was the long day - orchestra rehearsals in the morning and afternoon, plus piano dress in the evening. I felt great about the piano dress, and what's more, the orchestra didn't need a lot from me in terms of note-taking. 

So I used the time, and some time over the breaks, to FINISH outlining and writing down EVERY TERM from the Grout-Palisca, "A History of Western Music." I had been given this textbook as a gift for my high school graduation. It's getting a little worse-for-wear, but it held up. 

I am starting to feel like I am reaping the benefits of Whole-30-Paleo. I love how my clothes fit and how much strength and energy I feel that I have these days. Also, being on this restriction has kept me from stress-eating. Snacks are a lot of oranges and apples.

The hotel that we are staying in is absolutely lovely. Very quiet, cute decorations, nice en-suite microwaves and refrigerators. 

My normal routine when traveling is to unpack if I am staying longer than 24 hours. I have basically left things in bags, which will make an early check-out tomorrow easier. I travel tomorrow again to Ithaca to teach. I haven't been there since December. Here's to hoping that the weather cooperates. 

My one gripe with the hotel is that the eggs at breakfast are WRETCHED. Eggs are a major staple of Whole-30-Paleo, so I rely on them often for breakfast. 

This week, I have been getting down to breakfast before it closes, grabbing some sausage, and then going back to my room.

Behold, my egg poacher! 

And its progeny!

This is true egg-cellence. I will never travel without this again.

"Songs of Travel" turns 100 posts!

Greetings again from the *extremely cold" snap we are having in W-CNY! (That''s Western-Central New York to those of you who don't know the abbreviation.)

Two weeks from now, my comprehensives will be finished. Later today, I will post again the list of possible "big-topic" essays that might be on it. I had a great chat with PP yesterday about the scope of this exam. He assured me that I will do "very well." I just have to keep going at this point. It is an endurance test, after all.

I am thrilled that I've been able to stick with this blog for this long. I had started one about ten years ago, prior to usability ease and ability to label or post photos without a problem. 

Someone asked recently, "how do I have time to write so much." It's not a lot, actually. "Much" would be what I am thinking about writing, about learning twentieth-century vocal repertoire, or my own techniques that I have found in coaching throughout the years. For me, it is a need to communicate. 

Another "need" that I've been realizing that I have is a desire to be an educator, even on a project that is in the "professional" realm. There seems to be a large divide between "music making in academia" and "music making in the real world." This divide is sad to me. I have encountered equal amounts of bliss and frustration with both fields. 

I've been talking to the conductor on this project about how much we love teaching (we both teach at the same school). And it made me realize, that whether I am working with a freshman on basic Italian, or with a managed artist on (her) role for the first time, I am a very happy teacher. I like feeling like I can make a difference. 

Tonight, I have an interesting task ahead. My job is to help our speaker in our current production carry his voice more, more like an orator. His roles are written with underscoring (this means spoken dialogue or text over an accompaniment. This also means that the text has to be timed, in general, with the accompanying music. This happens a lot starting in late nineteenth-century French opera, such as Massenet's Manon. This writing techique is employed a lot in the twentieth century by Britten and Sondheim). Another challenge is that the text is in surrealiist-symbolist Spanish, and not only that, in the "lunfardo" dialect. This implies that consonant clusters in Spanish do different things phoenetically. ( ll = [d3] ), for example. Arrgentinian Spanish has different pronunciation than standard Mexican or European Spanish. (These are the things that I'm learning on the job!).

I will resume studying at this point. I will leave you with this lovely photo that I found online. It is me with Syracuse Opera's last production lead, "Carmen" (sung very colorfully by OR). I really enjoyed working with that cast and of course, on that wonderful music. 

PHOTO: Ola Rafalo and I work on some French and interpretation together at the piano, before rehearsal starts. 

Compromise

My opera schedule changed a little yesterday, making a trip back to Rochester (in order to play a church service) impossible. 

I quickly got my "support system" in order and found a substitute. And perhaps the best part is that Zheng gets to stay with me until Monday night, and then we will drive back to Rochester together. 

He was completely amiable about the adjustment, and is driving here now. So at the moment, I'm doing a small blog entry, getting my espresso on, and studying Grout (I've made great headway with studying and TERMS the past two days!).

PHOTO: A "vintage" phone at my great hotel. 

Ferrer, Rococo, and Tango

Greetings, everyone!

I am working on a few things while in Syracuse:

1) Maria de Buenos Aires. The music is really fun, enchanting, powerful, and spiritual. This operita (small opera in Spanish) is tango-based, but it also includes the milonga, habanera, and different kinds of waltzes. The poetry-libretto is by Horacio Ferrer, a Uruguayan poet-librettist who worked closely with the composer. In fact, he appeared as the role of the poet-speaker El Duende in the premiere of his own opera. 

What would I give to go back in time and see daPonte play, for example, Don Curzio in La nozze di Figaro? Or see Hoffmannstaal play a small role in one of his libretti for Richard Strauss? 

This piece was written in the 1960s. Piazzolla died in the 90s, but the librettist is still alive. 

The poetry is dark, surrealist-symbolist. Very evocative. It leaves a lot of room for interpretation.

2) Comps study for Eastman. Today's order - I'm through the Baroque Titans (Handel, J.S. Bach, Vivaldi) and the demi-Gods (Rameau, Couperin, de la Guerre, Steffani, Mattheson, Graupner, Telemann). On to the progeny of J.S. Bach, through the double-edged sword of stile galant and Empfindsamer stil. By day's end, I should be at the Eszterhazy palace.

3) Staying in touch with Zheng. He came and stayed over the night before last (he had the day off on Wednesday). He loves where I'm staying, especially with the king-sized bed and the HD Cable of Animal Planet. (My husband is happy with the simple things, one of the many reasons why he's wonderful). We trekked to Wegman's and picked up some essentials for hotel-microwave-refrigerator-healthy-eating-Paleo-Whole30. Since Syracuse is only 75 miles away, I am able to see him once or twice a week. The fact that it's winter here in the Finger-Great-Lakes and that my rehearsals go until 11pm means that I need to stay put, mostly. That being said, travel in the professional performing arts is a big deal, especially for newly married couples. The work is in the perfect location, at the perfect time.

PHOTO: A "special breakfast," which I did before leaving - with our youngest kitty trying to eat part of it ... 

Discipline

Welcome back to Syracuse! 

Zheng and I pulled in last night to my new "digs" (until the end of January). As much as I love exploring new places, and seeing new people, it is really nice that I don't have to figure out this town or this engagement from scratch. There are some new faces, and the piece is new. But I knew how to drive in, to confirm my reservation before arriving, and even where we would be rehearsing and practicing. (And I also knew where to get great coffee! Cafe Kubal is here!).

Syracuse Opera, it is great to be back, and I am grateful for the opportunity. 

But a word on Cafe Kubal, in relation to myself. I indiscriminately got Pumpkin Spice or Chai Lattes while I was here in the fall. I was working amply, and (I guess) walking a lot, but I was really not thinking of discipline, financially or calorically. In arriving today, I knew the only things I could have were the Americano or the Espresso. I'm a hard-core Nespresso-espresso fan at home, so this isn't much of a hardship. Whole-30 / Paleo forbids milk, syrup, or sugar. 

There are two new "seasonal" flavors on the menu here:

"Orange Gingersnap Latte" and "Mint Mocha"

I won't be off of Whole30 until I'm officially done my engagement here. I'm considering bringing Zheng back as a "date" on closing day, so we can see the show together, and we can also sample the new drinks. (That would mean that I would be willing to drive three hours round-trip for a beverage. And some Piazzola). And as nuts as it is, I would be willing to drive on Sunday the 9th to see the show, more than be willing to "break" the Whole30 while it is going on.

[**please understand the slight facetiousness of my above words. Please also read slight correctly.**]

I wonder, with all of the reading I've done lately, of two camps:

DISCIPLINE: Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, Whole30, It Starts with Food, The Cloister Life

 - and yes, the whole business of Comps study

PLEASURE: The Devil Wears Prada; Happier at Home; Style, Sex, and Substance

Where is the bliss-line with these issues? While my husband teases my organizational habit of "budgeting" for things in the future (like budgeting some money every month for our upcoming move, or talking last night about the fact that our computers are both crooning swan songs), he can tease me all he wants. We don't have a problem paying rent, and when we had to shed *blood I mean pay for our immigration lawyer, visa fees, and a USCIS civil surgeon*, we were able to do ALL of it, at once, and not go into any debt for it. Tease me all you want. The bliss of being able to do that on a musician's and event planner's budgets is not to be dismissed. 

The fact is, I think there is great joy and bliss in keeping to a disciplined routine. I'm delightedly happy after a great practice session, and as much as it was a pain yesterday to roast a chicken overnight, carve it, pack it up into small bags, and then bring it to Syracuse, I now have beautiful food for the next few days that I don't have to go hunt.

(I'm imagining [with a smile] me running through the streets of Syracuse in a cave-outfit, hunting down a chicken). 

A Shot in the Arm

Greetings from Rochester, where we are knee-deep in:

(1) no(!) snow - at the moment

(2) comps preparation

(3) preparation for Syracuse Opera (my next production begins rehearsals this Wednesday)

(4) Paleo-Whole30 lifestyle, including cooking and eating cleanly, and abstaining from old habits. Like "no Java's cookies." (Java's is a coffee shop with FANTASTIC large cookies that I frequently bought and ate during my entire degree. Sometimes they were lunch, and in my defense, I would often by them, eat HALF, and save the other half at least until after a gym visit.) Whatever. That is over now, and I am on Day 8 of Paleo-Whole30. It is great.

(5) ongoing preparation of Zheng's immigration process. This includes the joy of getting testing for him of tuberculosis and syphillis, in addition to translating and certifying Chinese immunization records. We had a lot of good laughs about what diseases where called, what the symptoms were, and how you got them. 

We also got a great laugh at Walgreens, when Zheng had to get a flu shot (and then get proof that he got one).

WaW (Woman at Walgreens): Can I help you?

ZY: I would like to get a flu shot, please.

WaW: Well, what dosage?

ZY: What do you mean? It's just for me.

WaW: Are you over 18?

[insert erupting laughter from KDY and ZY here)

ZY: Here's my driver's license.

WaW: Oh (blushes). Well, then the normal adult dosage.

Good humor is sometimes just the "shot in the arm" that we need.

PHOTO: Sweet potato hash browns with fried eggs. Putting some new recipes, and our WONDERFUL double-sided Crate and Barrel griddle to good use!

"Quit" is a four-letter word (Perseverance, Part 5)

I had wondered, BEFORE starting the doctorate:

"Why do people quit so close to the end?"

Because it is very, very hard. Steven Pressfield says that it is "Resistance" that gets in the way. Fourth-century monastic blames the "noonday devil." Marital counselors speak of the "seven-year itch." 

So now, I am facing comps - (three weeks away from next Tuesday).

I need to just keep doing what I'm doing. Taking careful notes, reviewing, paying attention to things that 'might be tested.' A lot of the Eastman professor have geared assignments or exams to this final comprehensive exam, so I've had vaccine boosters already.

And like everything else that we're trained to do, it's a performance. My mom remarked how calm I was on my wedding day. The performance instinct kicks in. It's the result of years of training.

I will leave you with a quote of the late, great Nelson Mandela:

"It always seems impossible until it's done." 

PHOTO: One of my two (very loyal) study-buddies!