Packing up, and moving on

"About noon the following day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray." (Acts: 10:9)

I have grown so much during my doctorate regarding faith. This had a great deal to do with my summer "home" in Hungary - but I still am reminded, in some way, of how human I am, how erred, how not perfect. For someone who holds herself, and to some degree, others, to a high standard, this is a bitter herb to swallow.

I think by praying regularly as we pack up our home, it will be important for me to remember our time here with gratitude and incredible fondness. Many times I have left a place as a slightly better version of myself, with daliances with a worse version of myself somewhere along the way. 

I remember that when I moved into this apartment, I said, "I want to leave here with a doctorate, married, a job, and someone else paying for the move." All of those things are happening (I joke that I should have asked for student loans and world hunger to be eradicated as well!).

Despite these positives, it is hard to leave. We had a wonderful gathering of friends on Monday, and have been regularly saying goodbye for the past few weeks. We plan to stay in touch, in a "real" way, not just "posting things on Facebook." 

Also, as things get cleared away and into boxes, it is a reminder of how much happier I am without clutter. There is clutter ensuing everywhere, but it is over the "dip." I need to retain this discipline that I do not want more clutter in our new place.

I need to pray regularly, without ceasing, that everything goes okay. The transit, the upcoming recording session, the marriage interview, and then our drive across the United States. So much happening now, and in the next three weeks. 

"Have you never questioned those who travel? Have you never paid regard to their accounts?" (Job: 21-29).

The desert of Eden

(PHOTO: Kim Jew)



“God takes everyone he loves through a desert. It is his cure for our wandering hearts, restlessly searching for a new Eden ...The best gift of the desert is God's presence... The protective love of the Shepherd gives me courage to face the interior journey.” - ― Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World

This quote is both moving and appropriate. Finding it is also perfectly timed. For today is the chasm between His crucifixion and resurrection. 

As of this week, it is the beginning of an inner and outer journey for my husband and I. We are being called to the desert.

I have been offered, and have accepted, a full-time position in New Mexico. When I have full disclosure from my new position, I can speak more of the details. I have received my (un) official letter today, preceded by a verbal offer which came on Maundy Thursday. 

In reading Luke 1:80, we know that "the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the desert until he appeared publicly to Israel." This child is not Jesus Christ, but is John the Baptist. The desert offered John the Baptist an isolation, which enhanced his spiritual growth and focused his message on God. (NIV - Life Application Study Bible)

(IMAGE: Georgia O'Keeffe)

Natural Spirituality

Szia! 

(This means, "Hello" or "Goodbye" in Hungarian, for either males or females, and regardless of plural-singular).

I am very happy to be here. Since we had an extra week in Sárospatak, to prepare Don Giovanni, we are at the beginning of Week 3. 

This past Saturday was wonderful and definitely worth sharing. Teaching was as the usual schedule (Schumann "Frauenlieben und Leben" in the morning, and Ady-Dalok following), lunch, more teaching individuals. 

"Creative Church" is one of my favorite events at Crescendo. The Institute moves into the Reform Church in the center of town, and we combine the two things the institute does best (worship and music). I got to share the podium with Timothy Bentch (tenor) and Ellen Rose (viola) on Vaughn Williams' "FOUR HYMNS." I felt that the piano was a little difficult to control, but many people thought the performance was especially moving, from their feedback. Because of the unfamiliar instrument and acoustic to me, I felt like I was hanging on for dear life, even though I knew the piece and the text extremely well. But so many people remarked about the "color" of the instrument. 

At the conclusion of the music, we were free to walk around the church and write, go to the wailing wall and leave our prayers for God, write thank-you notes to people in the Institute, or walk around and greet our colleagues and "brothers and sisters." I was relatively calm throughout the whole event, but did get teary at some sights or even some greetings that I shared with people. 

I have been pondering for a while the differences between organized religion(s), denominations, and different ways that people are "spiritual." I believe that we are all created spiritual beings (much akin to Dr. Shinichi Suzuki's belief about "every child being musical.") For many of us, we can be easily drawn away from this spirituality by life events, an experience within a particular community or congregation, or from a lack of curiosity. 

Creative Church is unique because of its multi-dimensions of scripture, message, music, and the ability to be in community in prayer and thanksgiving. Every year has been different and every year has been beautiful. 

PHOTO: Sárospatak gives a lot of stunning views by both sunset and sunrise. (I've seen both). This is by sunset, on the way to Creative Church. 

Reservoir of Peace

Today in Small Groups we continued talking about the Roots and Fruits of Christianity (Galatians 5:22). A question came up, which went something like:

"Why is it so easy to understand and speak about joy, and much harder to understand and speak about peace?"

And then I thought - we have all of these tangible ways of measuring money. We learn to save, at some point. We can look at our balance, and hopefully, if we've saved enough, we're able to give money away or retire someday. 

Can the same thing be true for peace? Is peace something more empty (burdens being removed) or full (needs satisfied, not hungry, feeling loved)?

The answer I received tonight is that only the Holy Spirit can be the bringer of peace. If that is true, we should all swim in this, because we will need our spiritual reservoir for when times get hard. I will continue to meditate on this while I'm in Hungary, because I think it could be a lifesaver.

Artists can have a wretched time feeling peaceful. Financial worries can nip at our toes. We must feed the guilt-monster that reminds us to practice. We must painstakingly work on our craft, and the same time, maintain relationships, work towards goals, and care for ourselves and others. 

Touring China with Ellen, and hearing about her preparation process, taught me a lot about "practicing in advance." Those of us who read quickly and learn even quicker know that we can get a lot of work done (musically) in a very short amount of time. However, if "life" happens - extra projects, emergencies of a variety of sorts, etc. - that "cram time" is then put in question - and then we are in real trouble. Ellen's method of practicing things in small ways - gestures, bowing, breaking down different elements, and also practicing in advance, served her well on the tour. When things like illness or fatigue visited, there was no panic about preparation or an ability to pull off a concert. She was thoroughly prepared. She had built her "preparation reservoir." 

What is our spiritual equivalent of this? Daily prayer? Reading? Discussions with other Believers? Writing? A daily walk in silence? Anyone who has any responses or answers, I would welcome them wholeheartedly. 

PHOTO: A lovely snapshot from near the "Teacher's Room" at the Reform Seminary College, Sárospatak, Hungary.

Morning Sequence

Things are going well here for us in Beijing. This morning was another example of what I would call "Morning Sequence," drawing the theme from a yoga title. Some of the "non-negotiable" items that go with me, even on an overnight trip, are yoga clothes and a yoga mat. I have been practicing yoga here daily, along with Yoga Journal podcasts (Jason Crandell is a favorite). My first morning here, I woke up at 4:54 and have gradually adjusting to Beijing time.

Breakfast is served in our hotel from 7-9:30 and includes Chinese and Western food. Among my favorite daily items are: noodle soup, prepared fresh in front of me, hot tea with soy-bean milk (also hot), noodles or rice, vegetables. Eggs seem to be a big part of the diet in China, actually, and I have my own personal "omelet man" (like my personal "fruttovendolo" in Italy!). I simply appear before my omelet man, and he makes me one. No conversation necessary (because we speak zero words in each other's language).

The showers in our hotel rooms are also not to be forgotten or dismissed. These are part of the "morning sequence" that I relish! When I arrived here, my shower-head worked, but I noticed a "hose" in the shower that was lonefully attached to the wall. When I saw Bob and Ellen at breakfast the following morning, Bob asked me about the shower, and said, "How about the magic wand?" I told him, "My wand isn't on - just the shower head." And he replied, "Oh, Kristin, you *need* the magic wand!" So, during my next shower, I beckoned the magic wand, and since, have looked forward to my morning shower and morning breakfast.

After breakfast, and before getting on with our day, Bob, Ellen, and I have met in their room for "Morning Prayer." We borrowed this from Beat Rink's innovation at the Crescendo Summer Institute (where we met!), in that many of the teachers gather before "Tune-In" (chapel) and pray / have a Bible study before beginning the day. Ellen and I have been reading "Acts" together weekly, so we've continued that here as well.

I am grateful for my time here, for the amazing blessings and opportunities that this trip has presented so far, and for my "family" - here, in Europe, and celebrating Thanksgiving in the United States.